Dedication by the Editor - To Brandon, since I forgot to tell you happy birthday when we talked. ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¯¦¦¦¯¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯¯¯¦¦¦ ¯¯ ¦¦¦ ¯¯ ¦¦_ ¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦ ¯¯ ¦¦_ ¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦_ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯¯¯¯ ¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¯¯¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¯¯¯¯ ¯¯ ¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦¦_¦¦_ ¦¦¦¦¦_¦¦_ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦_ ¦¦¦¯¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¯¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¯ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯ ¯¯ ¯¯¯¯ ¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯ Excerpts of Bulletin Board Poetry edited by Jeff Robertson a.k.a. Spy'Dr From the Evil Grinn BBS (205) 824 - 7421 This work represents the efforts of a number of talented individuals over the course of roughly eight or nine months. The poets represented here include the following : Dark Angel Decker Doctor Who (Kenneth Moody) Dr. Who Locke 2 Moses Niterunner River Man Spy'Dr (J. Robertson) That Cris Guy War Knight (Sam McNeil) 1/10: The Nature of Reality Name: <<< Spy'Dr #1 >>> Date: Mon Mar 02 03:40:04 1992 The Nature of Reality Part I by J. Robertson Are we all part of someone's dream ? If we are who is dreaming the dream ? Are we all pawns in someones game ? If we are who is playing the game ? Did I really write this poem ? If I didn't then who did ? Am I really thinking these thoughts ? If I'm not who is ? The Nature of Reality Part II by J. Robertson See the table See the chair Is any of it Really there ? What good does it do To ask you You might be Illusion too. (c) J. Robertson 1992 2/10: Thunderbird Name: <<< Spy'Dr #1 >>> Date: Wed Mar 04 14:34:55 1992 Swimming in a sea of airborne wetness, the lone bird struggles against the wind, fighting the rain. The lighting is fast and fatal. ZAP ! ! ! No more bird. (c) 1992 J. Robertson 3/10: The Glass Elevator Name: Niterunner #24 Date: Thu Mar 05 16:13:22 1992 I'm Standing in a glass room High Above The World Below I See All Of The Faces All Of The Faces I Should Know Life Is A Distortion Blurred And Reflected All Around I'm Standing In A Glass Room And I'm Going Down, Down, Down S.W. a.k.a. /\/iterunner 5/10: The Circle of Time Name: Niterunner #24 Date: Sat Mar 07 19:36:16 1992 I'm looking forward into A space convulsed with crime A place where if you commit a sin All you do is time What is fair punishment? An eye for an eye? If a person kills another The murderer should die History is endless Always repeating Revenge is necessary And always misleading The world thinks it moves quickly It spins on a dime In truth, it goes nowhere It is the Circle of Time S. Worley 6/10: Metamorphosis Name: <<< Spy'Dr #1 >>> Date: Sat Mar 07 20:14:33 1992 I look into the mirror and I can't beleive what I see, I see someone looking back but that someone isn't me. 'Can't stop myself from doing evil things, I fear down in my soul that I do go insane. I'm turning into ( turning into ) A monster ! ( METAMORPHOSIS ) I'm turning into ( turning into 0 A monster ( METAMORPHOSIS ) I'm claiming victims now, one by screaming one, and I just can't stop it though I know the day will come, when the evil that I'm doing and the pain that's all I see and the blood that I am craving are all that's left of me. I'm turning into ( turning into ) A monster ( METAMORPHOSIS ) I'm turning into ( turning into ) A monster ( METAMORHOSIS ) Look into your mirror now, please tell me what you see. Is it you that's looking back or is it really me ? You just can't stop yourself from doing evil things, and you know as well as I that you will go insane. You're turning into ( turning into ) A monster ( METAMORPHOSIS ) You're turning into ( turning into 0 A monster ( METAMORPHOSIS ) .......... (c) 1992 J. Robertson 2/3: Bad Zen Poetry Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Apr 08 00:41:42 1992 Some silvered mountains weave ghost-pale beams of broken silk a winter moon shines Moses 3/3: Bad Abstract Poetry Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Apr 08 00:48:58 1992 Rapid thoughts are clenched like sparrows of fire and light against a sunlit sky then are lost like a flare in the sun but thoughts alone come with cold, chilling mechanical precision a tower frame-lattice of glass, hinging on what is seen, crystal ice whirling, spinning killing in a slow/fast manner or way each person's thoughts coming now by second are more individual than their fingerprints Moses 7/9: duck off Name: That Chris Guy #45 Date: Thu Apr 09 10:50:28 1992 quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack (click of machine gun clip) (sound of bullets ripping into ducky flesh) 8/9: The Gardner Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Apr 09 13:27:45 1992 The roses are red The violets are dead in a withered garden or two the rope pulled tight saints lost their sight the garden was a kingdom again thorns now grow in the shadows the shadows of a winter's eve the garden is a kingdom and I am its king Moses 9/9: HHmmmm..... Name: Niterunner #14 Date: Thu Apr 09 15:12:25 1992 Making shadows play The sun shines down upon me I wither and die S. Worley (c) 1992 13/13: The Pendulum Name: <<< Spy'Dr #1 >>> Date: Fri Apr 10 19:30:53 1992 The Pendulum The Pendulum swings both those ways, from one extreme to 'nother, but in the long and winding run both sides equ'lly suffer. Says one side to 'nother "let's even up the score, and come our way one time again, but then shall swing no no more." But when the talk is finished, to all horror and a shock, the Pendulum still swings both ways, like a tireless endless clock. (c) 1992 J. Robertson 14/14: untitled Name: Dark Angel #60 Date: Thu Apr 16 23:18:00 1992 Run like the wind my friend Run past the sky into the night Run as far as the world will take you Run on as far as you can Run like the leave in the wind Run like the dust swirls in the wind run Everybody but Dirty Dancer and DR. Death's friend, THE DARK ANGEL 15/15: Runner Name: Decker #67 Date: Fri Apr 24 12:51:15 1992 I run as would any shadow I slip past all ICE as though I was Fingers flying upon my deck I run There is none left For none can That is Face The True Decker 16/16: NEVER Name: Dark Angel #60 Date: Sun Apr 26 22:25:31 1992 RE: Runner BY: Decker #67 NEVER HAVE i MET HE WHO RUNS THE LAND OF REALITY TRULY MY FRIEND, YOU LIE DEMONS COME FORTH WHEN YOU SPEAK YOU LIE! THE DARK ANGEL 17/17: ? Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Apr 27 16:38:53 1992 A little stressed out with a forty-five it's a serious case of burn-out. Never quite would have guessed he'd have put a bullet through his head Moses 18/19: again a poem Name: Dark Angel #60 Date: Wed Apr 29 12:40:19 1992 I see the edge of the world I sense the edge of the void I feel the emotion of my thoughts I wish for fear to depart I want nothing more than death THE DARK ANGEL 19/19: Death Name: Decker #67 Date: Wed Apr 29 17:41:06 1992 What is that I hear? Coming from down yonder path. Tis it my lord, my God, my savior? Nay for none of such exists. It tis The Angel of Darkness' love. Death comes my way. Do I run, do I hide? No, for Death is not to be feared, For it is my kind's best friend. The True Decker P.S. Here I Am, There I go running through my favorite home. 20/20: A Terminal Case of Burnout, 2 Name: Moses #49 Date: Fri May 01 10:07:34 1992 A little stressed out with a forty five It was a serious case of burnout Tension attacks with annoying persistence The whiskey's not working right now A little stressed out with a forty five (a serious case of burnout) waiting here, biding time I'm a little too tired of waiting now after all It's a serious case of burnout no time, no time the walls are closing in (a serious case of burnout) no time, no time I've got my gun, I've got some time I'll be damned if they take me in now Moses 27/27: Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon May 04 18:33:56 1992 One Ummon said to another: "I can destroy me with a single thought." And I thought what power you must have. Moses 28/28: I am Name: Decker #67 Date: Tue May 05 20:23:34 1992 I will be as I was. I am making who I will be. Shall I reach myself or will I be stopped. Will you intercept my life and become as I was. Or Has fate been kind and given me who I will be. All these questions, yet no answers, Can you tell me an answer, if I receive such an answer, Then I will be given more questions. No, answer not my questions for my life shall be mine own. The True Decker P.S. Don't ask me what it means, I just write 'em. 30/30: If.......... Name: Dark Angel #60 Date: Thu May 07 19:40:58 1992 If I cry before I die I pray that demons tear my soul I could hardly bear to sufer that fate yet strenght of steel eludes me Let the demons rip my soul Let them strew it out across the sky Let the world see my soul For I feel bter intombed by the sky Than in the pits of earth with god and the devils THE DARK ANGEL Happiness is away of life and it ain't mine. 31/31: The Evil Grinn Mocks You Name: <<< Spy'Dr #1 >>> Date: Thu May 07 21:12:59 1992 And the Evil Grinn mocks you each day . . . How can you know what I dream of at night; when visions of you are just out of my sight. Can you see me . . . A man and a monster, but a man just the same abusing himself like a beast in your name. And the Evil Grinn mocks you by day. . . How childish the games that we play. [PAUSE] How cryptic the things we know. How indecent the things that we show. How inhumane the things that we do. And all the while, The Evil Grinn mocks you. (c) 1992 J. Robertson 7/170: Something black and slimey Name: River Man #26 Date: Wed May 20 09:54:00 1992 It oozes from my pores when I sleep It spills from my mouth when I speak I wash it from my hair when I shower It's green and black and smells kinda sour It drips from my nose when I smile and stains my teeth for a while 10/170: Distortion Name: Niterunner #14 Date: Wed May 20 16:04:53 1992 Look out through my eyes Into a world of distortion You might be surprised At what you see Images of my past Confused with my future The demons in my soul Have come out to play with me (c) 1992 Technical Difficulties Music /\/iterunner 15/170: Heaven's pillars Name: Dark Angel #60 Date: Thu May 21 19:53:49 1992 Thin black wisps imitate clouds racing across the sky They lace the deep blue with a black It glares forth now in a royal purple Taste the air taste the sea that floats above in the sky Trees bent permanently by the wind are so much weaker than the sky above me I feel its weight come falling down around my head and arms Upraised to heaven in a silent plea It drags me down the weight of air Like tears roll down a face the transparent pearls of human life in silent misery THE DARK ANGEL Who is so happy he can't stand it. 16/170: A conversation Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu May 21 20:29:24 1992 A conversation overheard: I will kill them all I am No Man I am God is a conversation best left alone moses the me 19/170: GO away Name: Doctor Who #3 Date: Sat May 23 13:16:03 1992 GO away,and take my heart and smash it like a bottle. and with it take my love for it I'll use no more, and with it take my mind for it will only think of you, grasp my throat, and rip my vocal cords right out, and with them tale my lungs, for I only live for you -Kenneth Moody (C)1990 20/170: Sad but true Name: River Man #26 Date: Mon May 25 12:01:14 1992 Sad but true...is the life we live And shit in a bucket is all they give I stand in line to get my share The commander in charge says take it if you dare Why you say, is life so depressing? hold on a sec while I apply a new dressing and I'll tell you all how I got these wounds or maybe not...maybe its too soon I know these poems suck but hey! I'm making them up as I go! -=] River Man [=- 22/170: Life Name: War Knight #16 Date: Tue May 26 03:20:02 1992 I crossed the road to a better life But before I was yielding a knife I stood on the steps of deaths door I walked thru the valley of the dead...But no more I caught a glimpse of the reapers face The master of death that could end the human race I vowed to myself that I would change my way Yet it seems that its a long road to take..Even today! So..I crossed the road to a better life No more shall I yield a knife I now stand at the steps of heavens gates [PAUSE] I now walk thru the gardens without any hate I shall no longer see the reapers face Because I know now that god is the savior of the human race I have vowed my soul to his mighty way & Now I know that He's with me everyday! -Sam McNeil- (c) 1992 25/170: Hmmm Name: Moses #49 Date: Sun May 31 02:05:53 1992 RE: Holy Moses BY: Cassidy #66 catchy. How about this: Hey, rolling down, about thirty-five, a tire slips, the world collides, swerving on dead-grey gravel and all the time I have left I spent on a speeding thousand thoughts the foremost being gee, that car's awful close out goes the lights, and exit stage left spitting up blood and broken glass angels in blue and white asking hey, man, you've been unconscious what hospital would you like to go to? mumble, mumble, slip and reply, gee that car's awful close Heath with my cookies and fragments of dead-grey gravel rattling in my head moses in a blue heaven looking down 26/170: Tired, tired Name: Moses #49 Date: Sun May 31 07:39:44 1992 Tired, tired, going down I am so damn tired now time moving slow slowing me down cheating and then moving up tired, tired, slowing down time is the enemy (ticking softly) with each lettered rhyme time the cheater cheating me well, it's time to kill time time and time again time always wins and me no longer sane time, time, time here and there tired, tired, tired i'm sorry i'm just slow ing down stopped 29/170: antichemical acid trips with the New Orleans wizard Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Jun 01 03:28:53 1992 whoa, and lookee there death and jesus christ just walked into the 7-11 with black trenchcoats and black shotguns strange, thought, that death was a bald eyeless black man with his fedora and coat never pictured that as death and christ moved horribly slow and terribly fast and the african, skin dark as night, unloaded a single shell with a sharp crack of light into the chest of Henry, old poor dead Henry tumbled back and the christ, who sitteth on the left hand of God and the president of the united states judge the soul clean and no longer quick but dead and the clerk, peering over the side toward Henry, at the pooling blood, gestured toward his beer and said: "hey, are you gonna pay for that?" moses the gardener 31/170: Mama's apple Name: >Spy'Dr #1< Date: >UNKNOWN< And she died in the fall when there's lots of apples. And John ( he wasn't but about one year old ) went and got one and put it in here coffin and said, "Here, Mama, here's you a apple". They buried that apple with here. (c) 1992 J. Robertson 33/170: Bubbles of Air in the Crystal stream Name: >Spy'Dr #1< Date: >UNKNOWN< Bubbles of air in the crystal stream rise as the bottle sinks into the mud. reflections in you and relections in me - why ? what ? where ? Love ? Rising to the sun and the air above echoes of forest and sky overhead. reaching the top to solve the mystery; who ? where ? how ? Dead ? Now I remember what I had forgotten : Bubbles are but quanta of atmosphere. for what comes down must go up also, except for the bottle - it stays down here. (c) 1992 J. Robertson 34/170: Mister Moonshine Name: Moses #49 Date: Tue Jun 02 02:51:06 1992 hey mister moonshine whatcha doin' with that gun gonna find my father's son with this forty-five so hey mister moonshine whatcha doin' with that gun? gonna kill my father's son with this forty-five and hey sister sunshy whatcha doin' with that wasp? settlin' on the razor blade by that sprig of nightshade if you could, and th' hell you would come over, sit by me so hey sister sunshy why do you run away? is it just me is that what you see? so hey mister father time whatcha doin' with those rhymes? poems, lyrics, silver dimes still the beggarman. moses the weatherman 35/170: Hmmm...bored and reviewing the poetry sub I find bits of... Name: Moses #49 Date: Tue Jun 02 05:42:41 1992 RE: okay, listen BY: Ender #95 poetry that Ender wrote about twenty messages back. (Scroll back a bit, yeah, there you go...) hmm. How about this: all my life all the time I've tried to see innocence and white lives but still the black lies in the blackest lives stand still and distant like a rumbling church so they've warned me and so they tell maybe I'll listen and maybe I won't or maybe I'll see finally with unconditional reality the rumbling church and crucified saints and Judas betrayed 36/170: hmmmm Name: Moses #49 Date: Tue Jun 02 05:48:29 1992 RE: Life BY: War Knight #16 nietzche (damn german names) tells us that god is dead with the communist state and nealon speaks of false christian gods, figments of imagination and lies mormons say don't drink caffiene, you'll go to hell but buddha says this is inconsequentially important if all are true, then some make the others lie then how should I believe them all so I return to buddha with his koans and clap to his teachings with one hand moses the gardener 37/170: Gnome Acrostic Name: Locke 2 #56 Date: Tue Jun 02 15:20:44 1992 Whilst I was on my daily walk, I stopped a while to sit and talk. Now the people to which I spoke are truly quite curious folk I'll tell you now, they were gnomes At times a gnome can be a pain to you and to me. but most time they are great friends, although money you should never lend. And they'll always pour up a mug of foam. The gnomes were quite polite this day, Which, believe me, is not their way. "My friends," I said,"why art thou so distraught?" And after that, I was taught, about the evil Monster of Mome. "Eleven gnomes have tried and failed, so listen, and listen closely, to our tale. For five score and sixteen years, our village has shed its tears As the monster wrecked our homes." Returning every four years to snack, Once again the monster's back, And this time it isn't very nice. He's a parasite, like fleas on mice. Will you help us please? Save the Gnomes!" So how could I refuse? How could I say no? "Yes," I said,"I'll slay your foe." A cheer rose up from the surrounding crowd, how could little people be so loud? Then I saw a wizened figure. In his hand a dusty tome. He said, "I am the Gnome-That-Knows, and I know what you need to know." "What do I need to know, oh Gnome that knows." "Stop rhyming," he said,"This ain't no epic poem." I listened closely as he explained how the Mome Monster might be pained. Take the magic Sword of Gord, and forge the mystic fjord. Let's hope youfind the monster home. Past the mystic forest I walked up the truly magic mountain I stalked. Onward through the golden cities I passed At the end I stood at last the mystic fjord I forged into the land of Mome. Down a hill and through the wood, I prayed, I hoped, he would be in good mood. I looked about and saw a castle within in which dwelled neither lord nor vassal. Nay, here lived the dreaded Monster of Mome. On the front door I quietly knocked, but the door swung open, it was unlocked! I was quite surprised to see, a great pair of red eyes staring at me. I wished I was elsewhere, perhaps he coliseum at Rome. "What," said the Monster, "Are you doing here?" "I have come to slay thee, quake in fear!" The monster smiled, and licked his lips, "I have the Sword of Gord with the sharp tip." Then spoke the Monster of Mome. "Now," he said, "What do you have again?" "I have the sword of Gord, you will be slain." The monster spoke , "Good Lord, you forged the mystic fjord with the Sword of Gord!" And a tongue-twister did in the Monster of Mome. 38/170: Mable Name: >Spy'Dr #1< Date: >UNKNOWN< What's the puppy barking at ? What would you do if it was an ostrich and a bear ? Get out the Spagetti Knife, Mable ! (c) 1992 J. Robertson 39/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Jun 03 03:15:34 1992 I almost squashed that damned roach with an idle footless boot missed once, missed again I'll nail him eventually moses 40/170: ?.... Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Jun 03 03:18:53 1992 merlin moses out of the sky watch those birds fall with saintly pride never would have guess it you the merlin watching, a small falcon at that you in your old brown felt hat and Judas crucified merlin moses 41/170: written works Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Jun 03 03:38:24 1992 I write these poems on electronic walls to be eventually scrolled backwards erased and forgotten I found a notebook of my mother's poetry old, yellowed and aged and I saw things I'd written yesterday and I'd see them done before forgotten bits of this forgotten bits of that it ended abruptly and I wondered why I would stumble across things I had written things I had enjoyed writing and things I had despised but it's still the same the words are lost and gone and the words will come again 42/170: stripped Name: Spy'Dr #1 Date: Sat Jun 06 17:09:40 1992 Every now and then when I look in the mirror it like aw man I'm so pale and so skinny damn and this scholiosis, my back's all bent and shaped like a zig-zag. I can't beleive that's me. Look at me now, stripped of my manhood. Look at me now, thats not the way I'm supposed to be. Look at me now, stripped of my manhood. Look at me now, there's not much left of me. Whenever you wake up in the morning and the sun's shining in your face and I'm like shit is this the woman I'm spending my life with ? I mean just so ugly. but then ugly's what we want sometimes. Look at you now, stripped of your womanhood. You can't do the things that you used to to. Look at you now, stripped of your womanhood. There's not really much left of you. And we just sit here staring into each others eyes like this and no matter how we pretend there's really nothing all so different about it. But still we just hang on to each other when we really ought to let go you know what I mean ? let go let go (c) 1992 J. Robertson 43/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Jun 08 09:29:46 1992 infinity by zero is zero just the same and even if you're fast enough, quick enough to carve the water the shapes you carve are gone in seconds flat but the beauty of the water-carving lies not in the creation, for creations die and all things made come to an end it lies in the skill of creation it's all just as in infinity multiplied by zero moses the gardener 44/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Jun 11 11:13:01 1992 I was watching a pair a children one day one arrogant, but wishing the company of another badly, the other, unsure whether she should lower her guard to him (foolish, though, the first complained of this, still when he saw obvious sign that she would an he would ask others for their opinion of the situation) but one evening, still and quiet with the watcher's mind she asked me if I would get him (she'd done this many times before) and I complained, mockingly: "What, do I look like your errand boy?" And she said: "Fine, I don't care," perhaps misreading my humorous intent for social grace and I said: "Bullshit," seeing this game they played now in principle, "if you didn't care, then you wouldn't've asked me to go find him." I left, tired of human social games, looking for my room-mate moses 48/170: Nice Ken, Nice. Name: Escher #125 Date: Mon Jun 29 19:12:02 1992 RE: GO away BY: Doctor Who #3 Here's one I thought up just a little while ago. Cows. Cows everywhere. Cows wearing president Carter masks. Cows with machineguns. Too many cows. Too many Cows Cows Cows Death. Escher is playing massive catchup. --- Can it get any worse than this? 49/170: A little work. Name: Escher #125 Date: Mon Jun 29 19:17:00 1992 Early to bed Early to rise All your existence Until your demise Always be early Never be late Learn all the rules You're beginning to hate Follow in rythem Follow in rhyme Always be marching to Anothermans time Escher the amatuer Satirist. 52/170: that noise Name: >Spy'Dr #1< Date: >UNKNOWN< RE: whatever happened BY: Spy'Dr #1 I'm sitting here typing these lines when suddenly from outside: "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo". I feel a sensation like the one you feel when rough paper rubs against your dry skin and makes that noise like it does. I don't know why, its only my best friend. (c) 1992 J. Robertson 54/170: Got a Haircut Name: >Spy'Dr #1< Date: >UNKNOWN< I GOT A HAIRCUT I'm sittin there lookin into the air watchin her while she's primpin her hair down beside my chair where my radio blares I hear a song make me a dare: "It'll never be the same again and she'll never call your name again not the way she did just then no it'll never be the same again". well I'm wonderin' why cause I'm a skeptical guy that she's lookin lookin lookin in my eye and I kinda wanta sigh and let it pass on by but I keep gettin stopped by a feelin down inside: "It'll never be the same again and she'll never call your name again not the way she did just then no it'll never be the same again". All my friends say she ain't no good and she'd ruin me if she could say they've been there and it ain't easy but I just find it so hard to beleive... I've been waiting for so long for you to come to me son now we are together melting into one all this time you thought you wanted to be free you poor little fool i'll teach you how to see. 2 legs bad 4 legs good we're all equal here but some more than others! theres is no reality there is only what I say its all a matter of degree its all subjective anyway The past is the future and the future is today you just can't understand I'll teach you how to think 2 legs bad 4 legs good we're all equal here but some more than others! you've got to feel it in your heart never think it in it your head or you won't be strong enough now listen what I said now its time to prove yourself in our never-ending war and give your life away for us on the battlefield of gore..... Don't know how I came this way my mind is not my own can't seem to get away even though I'm all alone thought I'd died and gone to heaven but here I am in living hell wish that I could just let go break the bonds of Evil's spell but I know I could escape if I had only kept one wish if I had not done just one thing... I got a haircut for you bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! You said you don't date long haired hippie freaks so its on down to the barber shop with me now I look like a fuckin preppy fool but you're in love with blonde haired blue eyed dude. I got a haircut for you bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! I tried to please you in everything I did you had me hangin on ev'ry word you said now I see this is how it always ends I just wish I woulda listened to my friends I got a haircut for you bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! got a haircut for you, bitch ! (c) 1992 J. Robertson 56/170: falling Name: Moses #49 Date: Sat Jul 18 13:29:31 1992 lewis was scaling a mountain of cold shear granite pitons hammered in, then the sky opened up, bright, blue, and beautiful and the pitons snapped under his unexpected weight the climbing cord snapping taunt when lewis fell he'd almost fallen half a mile to the mountain's base below crashing and breaking on granite rocks but instead he dangled off the side of a mountain wishing he had moses 57/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Jul 30 21:03:22 1992 oh please, don't give me that look you detestable little wench, you're ego is really too much to bear, me? court you? I laugh, ha stop being condescending, I would never ever stoop to that it's all so defensive, you know the majority of the games we play all so protective, you know the majority of the things we say no one wants to admit to anything that might give advantage to the other we play games of hard to get in hopes of being gotten it's all so silly, I suppose and it doesn't make any sense but I suppose that's one of the quirks (or is it perks, fringe benefits of the job, hazardous pay is more like it) of being, you know, it's all so human you know well, maybe some humans 58/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Aug 03 14:32:56 1992 on the outside looking in opposing philosophies arguing each on other side what is right what is wrong on the many glass sided sides on the outside looking in you can't see, you can't understand what you assume is right shouldn't be right at all on the outside looking in your on the outside or the inside, it doesn't matter hard not to be on a side on the outside looking in "you can't give up" yes I can 63/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Aug 24 09:58:03 1992 a sad thing the other day reminded me of a passing thought and memory, a twinge of painfulness, I suppose I have a head of sad memories sad pictures with no names and a nameless man and a car stole them all from me I meet people I do not know and have memories that make little sense and a head of sad memories regrets and ghost half-fragments she says: "You've lost your memories? That's okay" her voice smiling "we can go out and make new ones." moses 70/170: bang bang Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Sep 07 19:23:43 1992 bang bang, you're dead it seems there's a bullet in your head I suppose you were stupid and thought it was a game too late now, won't be the same as cowboy's and indians and the soldier games we play leave nasty little impressions shaped very much like bullets in a lot of guys heads 71/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Tue Sep 08 23:43:21 1992 I bled, a small globule of glistening red forming against white and reddening skin, (the skin had been scraped away by a misguided foot) and her hand brushed mine, leaving a crimson stain, no less than an inch long against her hand she didn't notice perhaps she stands now, wondering whose blood it is that lies on her hands 72/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Sat Sep 12 12:32:45 1992 I walked in a garden of mottled stone with a girl whose relationship with me was less bonnie and clyde and more abbot and costello later I made a paper iris (I'm not sure, exactly, why or how I remembered) from flimsy, greasy newsprint over-priced coffee and cigarettes, chuckling over slight little things sometimes it's better to be abbot and costello than ol' bonnie and clyde 73/170: How do I loath thee... Name: Fish #166 Date: Tue Sep 15 21:37:32 1992 I loath the in the spring.. My gandma went on a cruise last summer Im chewing bubble gum I made a paper airplane today while I was on the toilet I made it out of toilet paper then I landed out in the front yard the front yard is a fig nuetan of my imag. but its all relative this is a deep poem you just dont know it yet hello 74/170: ------- Name: >Spy'Dr #1< Date: >UNKNOWN< Thoughts of A. whilst listening to Beethoven's Piano concerto #1 and reading Richard Adams. Sitting on the brilliant grass with you all dressed like flowers, kicking off your shoes. your hair flopping in and] out of your eyes ( you're not wearing glasses ). With the breeze cooling the sweat of our heat, and the washboard sky portraying all around as a picture in ANSI, in the field near the bean patch where Hazel and Fiver are hiding. 75/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Tue Sep 15 23:12:04 1992 I watched a fool today who mocked what he did not understand it was amusing, I suppose watching him attempt a feeble joke in a certain sense, I felt sorry for him I watched a girl today whose affections remained amystery to me it amused me, I suppose to watch her pursue a boy who clearly held nothing (at all) for her in a certain sense, I felt sorry for her I watched a girl today who'd found a chink in the wall, through her actions her remorse, (though I think she has especially neat eyes) it amused me, I suppose some how, I dearly wish it hadn't (at all) I watched a fool today who mocked what he did not understand he tried a feeble joke and parody and missed the point of most poetry 76/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Sep 16 12:05:03 1992 I remember a wreath of withered clover, made for me, me, the king of spring (why she chose this title, I don't really know, if she were more of a romanticist, perhaps it'd be autumn, by she chose spring and a king at that) I remember quicksilver dreams of half-remembered memories things that can't possibilly be, all lying tangled, incongruent, inconsistent in the back of my mind I remember the ghosts, and how I spoke to them, fleeting wisping shadows of me, and how they talked back I remember the quick I had resurrected, and the ghosts that I'd made them I remember falling into silvered snow, the frost steaming crimson from my blood I remember things that make little sense atypical concussion, she said, memory loss is unusual well, this seems pretty damn unsual to me no continuity at all in memory, no key that I can see, "all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream" Poe was right, in his quicksilvery crazy thread-like way I remember what I shouldn't remember and wish I had forgotten to forget the memories at all she said I was being crazy just like my dear old dad well, father like son is a relative term 77/170: ooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooeeeee Name: Fish #166 Date: Wed Sep 16 20:41:36 1992 Once... in the darkness of the past i was a young fella I was full of my own konwledge i new more than anyone i talked to myselff a lot I was the only one who i could have enteresting conversation with life was a drag its lonely at the top especially when youre not really there i played the fences which ever suited my need I guess i was opportunistic but then you all could go to hell i was smug in my self pity society was so screwed and no one accepted that i had all of the answers a poor pathetic little person who was i i couldnt wait till i grew up at that time i really only understood my name.... but it should have been spelled differently... instead i just harrassed others.. 78/170: .... Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Sep 17 13:13:38 1992 It was amusing, I thought, how someone could be that condescending, it was interesting, I thought that he was close, but no cigar, well, stupid people do stupid things for stupid reasons, and assumption is usually wrong haven't quite found the top yet (never quite ambitious enough to look), playing fences is an allusion that only one person understands (and he probably misunderstands it himself) no thanks,I don't need to go to hell (I gots my imagination) yes, I can't wait, can't wait until I meet this poor, pathetic fuck, who actually thinks he can control his life with mysticism who attacks others and then attacks them for attacking back who forces me into using poetry as a weapon 81/170: goddamn Name: Moses #49 Date: Sun Sep 20 17:14:11 1992 there are some really, really stupid fucks out there, most of them who wrap themselves up in a false sense of security- (why is it, exactly, that they'd do that? well, Nietzche would have something to say about that, I suppose) false sense of control, a false sense of power all falsehoods, all illusions, all built up in defense- (wonder what, exactly, that it defends them from; themselves? hmph.) they scramble so quickly for a neon idol, flashing brightly, so easily shattered with the handy hammer of reason ("...your reality is nothing but lies, and I am happy to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!") pipedreams of whiten sepulchres, the naive notion of WhiteHatted Men, glass visions, ceramic revelations, paper saints and a neon Jesus, that's what little delusions make 88/170: //// Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Sep 28 00:19:37 1992 Sugar coated manipulation, controlled for your own benefit, I'm doing this for you You lie you do this for your self your will over mine elimanating MY self You lie this is not for my benefit but your own you do not love when you do this for it is hardly fitting to cage the nightingale (gilded cage, chocolate iced manipulation, and loving will you say tomato [toe-may-toe] he says tomato [toe-mah-toe] I say control [kun-trol] the strongest love is to know when to let go when to let a person be a person and let them make their own decisions (w/o your perverbial helping hand or emotional mallet of approval) [PAUSE] let them go, or you do not love) good intentions are intentions alone and intention invariablly leads to action and the best action is sometimes the one not taken let go let go 93/170: :::: Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Sep 30 08:13:53 1992 yeah, I remember the summer hot, humid, but away, far away from anything Bradbury's dandelion wine, those memories of me walking out on my porch and wishing the wind would play the windchimes (one bamboo, one metal, and the final mismatched glass) but the wind wouldn't, 'cause it was still and hot, if wind could be dead, it was dead then and no longer play the chimes a child I would prod or hit them with a stick, hoping to hear them play yeah, I remember the autumn cool, slightly wet, the footfalls of winter creeping up, and at times it was very far away, indeed, Hallows a mark away, disguises and masks and yes, the cool, playful autumn wind would blow and gently play the chimes yeah, I remember the winter cold as hell, or what I'm used to, my nose running slightly, sniffling in the cold, dry, air, warmth held by a scant inch of fabric, running, and the wind did play the chimes in harsh, angry gusts, brutally, but the windchimes held, and the windchimes played in Mobile it was the fall's twin that spring, slightly brighter than brother autumn and they say that weather sometimes forgets the autumns and the springs skipping from summer to winter and back again sometimes we do, too. 100/170: My poem! Name: Mystre #193 Date: Tue Oct 06 21:06:39 1992 RE: go ahead BY: Spy'Dr #1 Love..an emotion that hurts can also be healing, but not often. An emotion that makes life painful because of the time you spend, chasing hopeless dreams, and fabled thoughts making wortless the time and the roses you bought the road to love is filled with misunderstanding and grief for only a thrill that is short and brief so where is the glory of being loved? is it possible to leap in it rather than shoved? Mystre 101/170: Everything Name: Demon #116 Date: Fri Oct 09 00:59:09 1992 Everything Conception Birth Shit Happiness Pain Death Rotting Nothing 107/170: ---- Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Oct 15 17:12:42 1992 a silly foolish man broke his watch shattering it into a hundred effective components gears and hands by accident, of course he tried to put it back together but only suceeded in destroying it further that foolish man gathered up the pieces again thinking of all the king's horses and all the king's men well, now when I count the clock that tells the time I notice that shattered time, broken time is sometimes worse than no time at all well, time to kill time time and time again sometimes you can't turn the hands back with that old gold plated knob 'cause time stopped and went away with a wild swing of the arm and time was irrepairablly broken when the foolish man wanted to know what made it tick and how to assemble the watch together again 109/170: ]]]] Name: Moses #49 Date: Sun Oct 18 23:39:29 1992 I used to dream such pretty dreams as nice as nice can be now cold reality will step inside and take them all from me I used to dream such happy dreams but now my dreams are dead I can't escape with fantasy from this evil in my head Reality is a boring game a game with many moves someone always has to win and someone has to lose I can quite lose what I haven't got just me and sanity I can't quite want what I haven't lost just me and dignity but, please, mrs sunshy don't take my dreams don't take my dreams don't take my dreams away from me 110/170: My poem Name: Dr.Who #176 Date: Wed Oct 21 08:05:03 1992 GROUND ZERO I II The bomb is falling Alive but not more on the way whole, now mutant take cover and pray feel the radiation live safe, or fire in my body die quickly I will change soon Hold on-close your eyes Pray to die before it oh God My mind is changing Boom. what is going on? III IV Losing my sanity Go outside body blackened wander the wastes skin peeling, life sun hurts me fading away new body hates light Maybe it is good others come new strength comes kill them all I am human if not mutant no more. destroy. V VI Covered in ash Some are sick mutants arise too long in the hot joining me, we thought rad zones. It's okay this couldn't be food for the others we know now we grow stronger this is better life in ruined cities life in death coming forth blasted. we are one. VII VIII Voice a whisper Nuclear winter animal body so cold and black one flashburned mind we are dying thousand hellish forms flesh freezes we come and kill can't change enough let nothing live I am alone, dying except the mutants now. We have left growing. nothing. HOLOCAUST I II We were last Winter now saw the bombs cold and blackened heating, destroying find food, survive many died change more every day we changed bomb-warmth kills twisted in fire slowly but surely born again in death we will not die III IV Bands of mutants Looks like hell seek and destroy fires still burning hate survivors all that remains of they didn't change the world of then left us here to die going insane we lived and now hate life fear death we eat you alive our fate V VI Found some bombs Gather the bombs they didn't blow build fires around them use them now run for days destroy the makers off in the distance they survived we see the blast they will feel even from here that which they made feel fire and remember VII VIII Earth shakes Run to the cracks something is changing death is certain fire now coming from no longer caring earth itself we will die gladly this flame is pure if we can die as something not twisted long ago our release what we once were 111/170: ???? Name: Moses #49 Date: Wed Oct 21 16:43:55 1992 hell, I damn thee damn, now I see I've damned you as you've damned me 112/170: home-made or not??? Name: Myrddin #147 Date: Thu Oct 22 22:28:20 1992 When Humans See ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What is to be When Humans see The truths that lie The bonds that tie The long-forgotten things retrieved The things that are to be perceived perceived for what they truly be how will it end, when humans see. 115/170: well in that case let me go way back and find some more Name: Myrddin #147 Date: Sun Oct 25 10:50:40 1992 RE: great AN INVITATION ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ When the moon falls, And the sun dies; When Death calls, And the Reaper spies Your soul alone, Lost and prone; When it's time to die, time to leave the sky, Say Farewell, And join us in Hell. Never again Shall you laugh or cry, Never again once you die. You'll be down here, In misery, You'll be down here, Once you've joined me. _~-~_ 118/170: //.. Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Oct 26 01:04:17 1992 We all choose the instrument of our destruction whether by decision or circumstance we all choose 126/170: the color black Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Nov 05 16:52:56 1992 what, exactly, does the color black taste like wrapped around you like blood warm fabric black as her kettle, black as night and tasting of two hundred dollar cognac what does black sound like a thousand strumming chords and all thoughts notquitegettingthrough smothered by consciousness she surrounded by candles and the black reminding me of songs I had killed she so much like me, but not in so many different ways a pair of sad jesters or by another defintion fools she knows what black tastes like and while we differ on the approximation we know the effect 127/170: porcelian Name: Moses #49 Date: Thu Nov 05 17:35:37 1992 here I thought I danced in a garden of stone but it was one of porcelian fragile glass blown flowers and delicate irises, made not from fifty pound but by bible thin paper hope I don't get too close and scare you away or get too far away (remote and untouchable) it's a quicksilver scuplture this life of mine don't jiggle too sharply even a watercarver prizes his art highly 129/170: unimportant Name: Demon #116 Date: Thu Nov 05 22:25:08 1992 why am i here why do i care why does it matter why does do the people kill why do the people lie why do i even care why will i die why who cares 130/170: hey Name: Moses #49 Date: Fri Nov 06 00:44:04 1992 shakespeare's daughter saw her name carved in stone reminding her of her own mortality her hand, petting my hair and we sit at the steps of a starry night and unconsecrated church (cold concrete) a laugh, then a coughing fit reminding me of my own [mortality] no I am going to live forever and so will she 135/170: Tell me... Name: Lisa Lazer #29 Date: Sun Nov 08 16:57:29 1992 Supple, the tender flesh against mine. I gasp. Damp, the tears shed not in joy, not in sorrow in ecstacy. Close, her lips on mine my hands on her I gasp Hazy, the world appears fogged by emotion in ecstacy Eager, our joint desire passion grows I gasp Ashamed, sex is bad Lesbians worse in ecstacy Loving, I'm a woman so is she I gasp. Good, I return we embrace again in ecstacy Questioning, between the stones "Tell me what to do?" I gasp 138/170: suicide Name: Demon #116 Date: Mon Nov 09 03:07:43 1992 does anyone care about me do i even care what you think about me does anyone love me why would you want to even love one like me me does anyone even know that i am here as you look past and not even see me there and laugh does anyone care about me if i live or die tonight or tommorrow does anyone know why i cry all during the night alone wishing that you cared does it all really matter because when i am gone will you have even known i was there 143/170: lkk084343094304304304304304309434304304785402192-18-1`831184 Name: Moses #49 Date: Tue Nov 10 13:30:22 1992 I must have killed ten thousand ants today crushing them with the slight killing weight of my hand then ants coming over their dead brother's tracks (pheremone trails, wipe them clean [with greasy piss yellow soap] and they'll've not known where they've been) and i realize the hideous futility of it all and ten thousand insect corpses litter my room I must have drunk ten thousand sips of that clear death of ethanol a slight whitehot sear of liquid emotion a few more sips to remind me back to where I hoped I was (but wasn't) and ended up poisoning myself, the vomit and spit coldclear in crystalline strands from my lips I never got back to that goodwarm feeling no, never got it back and i realize that hideous futility of it all and it almost kills me the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train and as i hear that silent screaming whistle cut through and tell me the time of day i realize the hideous futility of it all now futility lies in action and in mind as well but remember when you see the ants and me poisoning myself a bit more and when you hear the train or carve that water sky or look upon me with your remaining good eye strumming those chorded steel threads and my hands stained with the blood of a thousand ants and fingertips bruised bloody and black (wondering what black tastes like, wondering, wondering) you can realize that there is a certain freedom in not having the strength to give a shit 144/170: lowers on the table Name: Dark Angel #60 Date: Tue Nov 10 20:41:46 1992 the flowers stand on the table in the vase of glass And now the vase shakes and falls to the floor so far below and as it shatters it reminds me of all the mirrors which break and the figures in the glass which were me but now are not Twisted monsters upon the ground as the vase shatters so does my mind. THE DARK ANGEL 163/170: ///? Name: Moses #49 Date: Mon Nov 16 00:19:04 1992 i have not found God say hello to him for me when you find him a silly man once went looking for God under a few rocks and up in a few trees he questioned where this God was now knowing where he was not the stone Jizo stood in the grass watching this foolish man the Jizo knew where this God was not in the destination but the search say hello to him for me when you find him 169/170: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Name: Spy'Dr #1 Date: Tue Nov 17 16:34:30 1992 Look into my eyes and tell me do you see yourself ? if you could see my heart I know you'd see nobody else. I'm sorry thats not true sometimes I think about my mom. sometimes I'm wishing I was going back where I come from. Look up into the sky at night and tell me what you think is what we feel together now some kind of cosmic link ? I guess that its not yet at least because we still fight now and then I suppose thats just the way it goes with women and with men look up into the sky at night.... The Universe its spinning and turning and growing and its all a part of you The Universe its living and breathing and blooming and its all a part of you The Universe its moving and expanding and thriving and its all a part of you yes everything I see, everything even me its all a part of you and we're both a part of everything all at the same time I wonder how... it really doesn't matter as long as you are mine, and the Universe its spinning and turning and growing and its all a part of you the Universe its living and breathing and blooming and its all part of you The Universe its moving and expanding and thriving and its all a part of you The Universe... ... and tell me what you think ... This is a place that should not exist but all roads end up here the ultimate place of eternal rest for all we love and fear everything comes in and nothing goes out its all a one way street reduced to a point we know nothing about its by definition bittersweet. Siblings in silence, united in Death everything here is one but the cycle continues without any rest like reincarnation... In the end I guess we owe it all to our heredity we would not even be here if it were not for our genes we may as well be algae on the glass of a fish tank the thing that really gets me is we both know how to think. What is there about ourselves that tells us what we are are there others like us looking back from all the stars? why is it that we see ourselves the center of the world ? are we not just accidents as mother earth unfurled ? The Universe ... Its spinning and spinning and there's no way to stop it and turning and turning and we're just a part of it the Universe it hatches and grows and expands and we're just like the microbes on the skin of our hands each blackhole is really a new big bang blast ours wasn't the first and it won't be the last it isn't the last and it won't be the first and we're just mutations of the evolving Universe. we are helpless so why not be self-less ? we are helpless so why not be self-less ? If what we're feeling isn't love then I don't know what they're speaking of when they talk about some thing that conquers all. And I can tell when I look at you that the time is through when life's unsure and now its time for real life to begin. There is no we, there is no they there's nobody here to get in our way there's only you and me and thats just right. And even though we'll end up dead at least we'll keep them out of our heads and in the end thats the thing that really matters. You know that I'd die for you but not because I'm tied to you but all because of the way you make me feel. And you know that I'll stand by you and not let them get their hands on you and you can take my word because trust doesn't rust. The Evil Grinn BBS (205) 824 - 7421 11/17/92